May 05, 2008

Mother’s Day: Buffet Mandatory, Corsage Optional

My birthday sometimes falls on Mother’s Day. In the past this has meant that it is the Moms and I lining up at the hostess stand for Sunday Brunch at the fancy restaurant.  Not my mom, however.  My mom was born during the Depression and she felt that spending a lot of money on what was essentially just breakfast food was a total waste.  Unless, of course, it was a buffet.  Now a buffet spoke to her.  It said ‘you will not leave hungry, you will get your money’s worth’. My mom’s favorite place for Mother’s Day brunch was the Crown Room of the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco.  The view and abundance of food was quite the spectacle to behold: silver bowls heaped with fresh red strawberries and mounds of whipped cream. The carving station held a huge baron of beef, a whole roasted turkey and ham on the bone.  There was a station with omelettes being made to order.  And for those of us who love pancakes there was an interesting concoction that I am sure was inspired by the classic English Trifle.  At least a dozen pancakes about twelve inches in diameter were spread with a thick layer of raspberry jam. They were then stacked on top of each other in a silver bowl and topped with whipped cream.  This gooey delicious mess was my favorite.  My mom was crazy about the cold seafood display complete with an ice sculpture of the Golden Gate Bridge.  I can still see her plate heaped with pink prawns and crab legs.

I can’t see an ad for a buffet without thinking of her. I wrote the piece below in her honor three years ago.  I am reprinting it now because she passed away a few months ago and she is on my mind daily.  She reminded me often that she would not always be around and that she thought about her own mother every day. I now know exactly what she meant.

My Mother’s favorite ‘dining experience’ has always been the ‘buffet’. As a child of The Depression, I think she is overcome with joy and relief when she sees dish after dish spread out before her with a sign that reads “Take all you can eat but eat all that you take”. Because it was a good way for a single mother in the 60’s to feed her child and herself inexpensively, my childhood was full of these buffets or, as we called them in San Leandro, “Smorgy’s” (short for smorgasbord?). Our favorites were the “The Pipers” on MacArthur Boulevard and the less expensive “Perry Boy’s Smorgy” on the other side of town in the Marina area.
Both restaurants were dimly lit except for the bright spotlights that hung low over the buffet tables. A tall stack of hot, damp white plates fresh out of the dishwasher marked the beginning of these groaning boards. After years of eating at various buffets I became a smorgasbord strategist, I knew that it was important to find a cooler plate or my Jell-O selections would melt before I got back to the table. Also, it was important to approach in stages. A plate heaped too high would find your slice of roast beef swimming in a pink pool of beet juice and salad dressing before you could eat through to the bottom layer.
The first trip to the buffet was for salad – chopped iceberg lettuce, slices of canned beets (the fancier Piper’s served them sliced julienne) all smothered under a big ladle of creamy blue cheese dressing. If the plate was cold I could load up on the lime Jell-O and cottage cheese mold. The second trip was for hot food – canned corn, mashed potatoes, gravy and crispy fried chicken. Finally a trip to the dessert table where two HUGE clear plastic Melmac bowls full of yellow pudding and brown pudding were sunk into a bed of crushed ice. You had to pay extra for drinks so we drank water.
After dessert, my Mother always made one last trip to the buffet. This is when she loaded up her plate with fried chicken thighs and legs. Back at the table, she would look around the restaurant to make sure that no one was watching as she wrapped each piece of greasy chicken in the white paper napkins she had hidden in her black patent leather purse. Still smiling, she snapped her purse shut, asked the waiter for the check and paid the cashier on the way out. Did the waiter see what was going on? She was never busted. No one ever said, ‘Excuse me Madam, hand over the chicken’. I remember being embarrassed but I also remember how fun it was to empty out her purse when we got home. And how delicious that chicken was. I hope that all they saw was a pretty young woman and her child dining alone. But if they did see her ‘slight of hand’ I know that they would have understood it for what it was. Not stealing, but rather just a single mother trying to figure out how to feed herself and her child one more day.

December 23, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Days Ten, Eleven, Twelve

Okay, so we are cheating just a wee bit. We are combining the last three days into one because somehow time got away from us and we are doing our best to maintain our culinary cool. This is that point during the holiday season where I throw up my hands and say ‘who cares if not every gift has a bow on it?’ (Both dog and husband run for cover). Quickly followed by the phrase ‘my glass is empty, please fill it’.

The gift I am proposing for these last three days is the gift of peace and calm that only you can give yourself and the ones you love. I promise, no one will really notice if the gift doesn’t have a bow on it. And if you haven’t had time to get the gift, give them a call and tell them you love them.

Have a great holiday, dear readers. Cheers.

December 21, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Nine

On the ninth day we take a nap so that we can stay up late and spend the evening listening to ONLY WILD WOMEN GET THE BLUES on KCSM 91.1 FM radio. This is the 15th year that Alisa Clancy and Kathleen Lawton have hosted this rowdy evening of blues and jazz. Always scheduled for the Friday before Christmas, the program begins at 9 pm. Put the kids to bed first as it can get raucous once these gals have had a couple glasses of fake pink champagne. While you are there, why not make a donation to support this commercial free jazz station -a great present for the jazz lovers on your gift list.

December 20, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Eight

On this eighth day of gift giving we would like to suggest that you get yourself over to the WARMING HUT at Crissy Field and check out their wonderful gift selections. Especially in the chocolate area. Hot Fudge sauce by FUDGE IS MY LIFE, the new 2008 Chocolate Guide to the Western United States (check out page 120 for my funny tale of paying for a cab ride with chocolate), and an assortment of chocolate packaged in beautiful tins depicting scenes from San Francisco.

December 16, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Seven

For the truly devout chocolate lover may we present a very special offering from our dear friends at Holy Orders? The CHOCOLATE GIFT BAG contains the following:
-One 1 pound box of Chocolate Fudge Royale made by the Brigittine Monk in Amity, Oregon
-One 14 ounce box of Milk Chocolate Hazelnut Meltaways made by the Trappistine Nuns of Our Lady of the Mississippi Abbey, Dubuque, Iowa
-One 9 ounce box of Chocolate Coated Caramels made by the Trappistine Nuns of Our Lady of the Mississippi Abbey.

Have you heard of HOLY ORDERS? They offer a variety of quality products (not just chocolate) made with love at monasteries around the world. Treat yourself to a ride around the LABYRINTH with Sister on her red tractor while listening to a Gregorian Chant. Sister is happy to be able to help her Bay Area friends by offering UPS Ground next business day delivery.

December 15, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Six

For those of you who will be spending this chilly weekend Christmas shopping in Palo Alto, why not treat yourself to a very special ‘Warm Me up’? QUATTRO RESTAURANT AND BAR in the Four Seasons Hotel has just introduced their Chocolate Bliss menu of hot chocolates for the holiday season to be served along with the lunch and dinner dessert menus. You sit back, relax and choose from six different housemade chocolate truffles using an assortment of the world’s finest chocolates. The truffle is served on a looped handled spoon next to an empty hot toddy cup. You place the truffle in the cup and your server pours in hot, rich milk. Stir and sip. With combinations like Amedei Toscano Couverture 29% White Chocolate with a hint of peppermint and crème de menthe you will be ready to face those long shopping lines.
And if you can't get there this month the menu will be offered through the end of January.

December 14, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Five

It’s time to bake. This special recipe made its debut on Culinary Muse two years ago. Last year it made its television debut as part of Karletta’s appearance on ABC’s ‘View from the Bay’. It was a hit with hosts Janelle Wang and Spenser Christian and it will be a hit with your friends and family. If you are looking for one great cookie to bake for holiday gifting, this is it. Package the cookies in a clear cellophane bag tied with a box and accompany with a box of MALDON SEA SALT and two bags of GUITTARD'S Semisweet chocolate chips. It will be the sweetest gift they receive.

Continue reading "Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Five" »

December 10, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Four

By now you have probably guessed that our Twelve Days of Gift Giving includes only chocolates and confections from our favorite chocolate folks. There is not anyone kinder in the confection business than Chuck Siegel. From the beginning of this site, he and his staff have been supportive of our chocolate endeavors. As a special treat to our readers, Chuck is offering you 15% off of your order. The deadline for ordering is December 17, next Monday. Hurry and send one of their very elegant edible boxes to your most important client. They will be impressed.

Charles_chocoalte_blog_promo_bann_3
CLICK HERE TO ENTER THE CHARLES CHOCOLATES SITE.

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Three

Ah, to be in Paris in the spring. Or summer. Or fall. But especially in the winter. Fine French confectioners pull out all the stops for this very chocolate time of year. Take, for example, the offerings from Jean-Paul Hevin. His very clever CHRISTMAS 2007 collection of logs can be ordered off the website but must be picked up at the shop, 23bis avenue de la Motte Picquet, Paris 7e. Available December 10 through December 27. We will do our best to be on time.

December 08, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving: Day Two

A certain Hollywood producer took our advice and is doing his holiday shopping at Hotel Chocolat. And what did he choose for all of his A-List clients? THE ROCKY ROAD SLAB. The one pound slab measures 10” x 6” and is sure to prompt a gasp or two of astonishment and delight. The base is a swirl of milk and dark chocolate. Layered on to the slab are crispy rice puffs, chunks of white chocolate and chocolate chip cookies. Talk about a texture and taste extravaganza!

December 05, 2007

Twelve Days of Gift Giving

Do you envy your friend who can always detect the taste and aroma nuances in a piece of chocolate? They taste leather, jasmine and banana. All you taste is chocolate. Well, here is your chance to hone your tasting skills. Described as a connoisseur’s guide to chocolate tasting, VOSGES HAUT CHOCOLAT'S SENSORY COLLECTION can also double as a parlor game for the family. But why share? Use it to study for your next chocolate tasting get together with friends. The kit contains 42 aromas with essences of dried banana, cocoa butter, asparagus, burnt sugar and more. It also contains 28 dark, six milk and six white single origin chocolate bars from around the world. Cramming for exams never tasted so good.

November 27, 2007

Holiday Happenings: East Bay

I love living in San Francisco, but I have to say that Oakland has always held a special place in my heart. When my Grandmother first arrived from Portugal in 1920 she would take the streetcar from Jingletown (East Tenth Street) to Housewive’s Market to buy a bucket of fish heads for 50 cents. This is what she did in the Depression to feed her four children. Life improved and by the 1940’s, dressed in hat and gloves, she was taking the same streetcar downtown to shop at great stores like Capwell’s, I. Magnin’s and the Gray Shop.

My memories of Oakland all center around downtown and Lake Merritt. Trips to Fairyland, breakfast at Kirby’s, fancy dinners at The Elegant Farmer in Jack London Square. I worked at the Oakland Tribune all through college. My junior high school class was one of the first to have a field trip at the brand new Oakland Museum. I could go on and on.

Here are a couple events (one is tomorrow) in Oakland that will get you into the holiday mood.

Free Holiday Concert
The Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir is giving a free concert at Oakland City Center. I attended last year and it was a great way to put me in the holiday mood.
Wednesday, November 28, noon to 1pm.

First Fridays After Five at the Oakland Museum:
Our friend, Chef Tanya Holland, will be giving a soul-food cooking demo starting at 6:30. We look forward to her new restaurant, Brown Sugar Kitchen, which will be opening soon in West Oakland.
Also at the event will be recording artist Lawrence Beamen with gospel and holiday music.
Friday, December 7, 5-10pm
Admission: $8 adults
More info at: Oakland Museum of California

February 14, 2007

Valentine's Day, SF Style

I say take the afternoon off and indulge, San Francisco Style.  Cocktails at CAMPTON PLACE. Last minute chocolate confection shopping at THE SAN FRANCISCO CHOCOLATE FACTORY (a great place to find lots of boutique chocolatier and confectioner's products), a bouquet of flowers from the flower stand in front of the old I. Magnin building or maybe just a gardenia corsage.  Maybe a hot fudge sundae at GHIRARDELLI SQUARE? Celebrate your loved one, your friends and your good fortune to live in such a glorious city.  Happy Valentine's Day to you, dear reader.  Love, The Culinary Muse.

December 31, 2006

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

With a glass of bubbly raised high we toast you, dear readers, and thank you for making 2006 a great year. Chocolate beckoned the Muse this year and we followed. What a glorious path it has become and one that we look forward to following. May the coming year bring us all good health, peace of mind and may all our chocolate dreams come true.

December 20, 2006

HOLIDAY MUSIC JUST FOR US

We at Culinary Muse are very spoiled.  We listen to commercial free jazz radio all day long on KCSM JAZZ 91.  But at this time of year we get an urge to saturate ourselves in non-stop holiday music now and then. Where can we turn? Our holiday CDs are limited to Charlie Brown's Christmas and we can only listen to that choir of children's voices once or twice a day before we begin to feel like wringing one of their pudgy little cartoon necks. Then there is that 'All Holiday Music' radio station.  They do a good job of mixing up contemporary and classic holiday pieces but there are just too many commercials.  And those too jolly, talking heads in the morning are more than we can deal with without a scotch in our hand. Even we know 6:00 a.m. is too early to drink.  The solution? Tune into CHRISTMAS 94109. As we post, Peggy Lee is singing 'Happy Holiday' to us. Cheers!

December 15, 2006

PARTY WITH THE WILD WOMEN OF KCSM JAZZ RADIO

You are down to the final stretch of the obligatory holiday gatherings.  Just last night you sat next to your spouse's boss as he told you, again, the story of how he founded his company 30 years ago.  This is the fifth straight year you have heard the same story.  Just as you were about to recite the story back to him, word for word, your spouse grabbed you and whisked you out the door. You are now under holiday house arrest.  And frankly, you are relieved because you get to enjoy the ultimate holiday release in the privacy of your own home.  That would be the 14th annual 'Wild Women Don't Get the Blues' Holiday party brought to you on KCSM JAZZ RADIO 91.1 on your FM dial.  Alisa Clancy and Kathleen Lawton are your hosts. Tonight at 9 p.m... This is the radio station the Muse listens to all day long.  Great jazz, no commercials.  Become a member tonight!

December 05, 2006

FINE CHARLES CHOCOLATES ON SALE!

Chuck_1 CHARLES CHOCOLATES is offering a 'friends and family' discount of 25% on their entire line of chocolates.  Unbelievable.  But not really if you have ever had the pleasure of meeting the generous folks who bring us these delicious artisan chocolates. And any friend of the Culinary Muse is a friend of Charles'. Consider their SIGNATURE EDIBLE CHOCOLATE BOX of elegant tea infused chocolates for your most cherished friends and clients. Be sure to check out the P.M.S. ASSORTMENT for your best girlfriends. The sale continues through Friday, December 15. ON LINE ORDERS ONLY. 

November 28, 2006

TRULY DIVINE CHOCOLATE GIFT GIVING

The first in our series of chocolate holiday gift ideas comes from our friends at Holy Orders. They are the exclusive purveyors of this truly divine Italian chocolate made by the Camaldolese Monks. For $22.00 you will receive two 150 gram bars of chocolate, one light, one dark. You will love ordering from HOLY ORDERS the answer to your gift giving prayers. They sell hand made gifts from monasteries and cloisters around the world.  If you are looking for gifts with soul and meaning this is the place.

November 22, 2006

OTTO AND THE PIE or A TALE OF FEARLESSNESS IN THE KITCHEN

On the eve of Thanksgiving it seems appropriate to tell the tale of our friend Otto and his first pumpkin pie. Otto began baking just two months ago. Why? Because he had three ripe bananas sitting on his kitchen counter and he had a craving for banana bread. My phone rang late one afternoon. He was ready to make banana bread. He had a recipe. Now what? Talking someone through their first baking experience is a lot like talking a pilot through an instrument-less landing in the fog. There is so much you need to tell them. And because baking is really chemistry, an experienced baker knows that one wrong turn can result in a crash landing. But this was Otto. A cockeyed optimist. I had great faith in his ability to follow instructions. And I knew that if he did have a disaster he would be able to see it for what it was - a learning experience - and would always have Plan B ready to go. We talked through the basics of quick bread baking. He called four hours later. The bread was great. The neighbors loved it. They wanted to know what he would be baking next.

Continue reading "OTTO AND THE PIE or A TALE OF FEARLESSNESS IN THE KITCHEN" »

November 14, 2006

A THOUSAND CRANES, A THOUSAND WISHES

We interrupt your Thanksgiving preparations to bring you a special Christmas request. This will only take a few minutes to do, it costs nothing and you can get back to packing or menu planning or whatever else it was you were doing just now. Our friend, W, sent us an email this morning with a very simple request. To take a moment and make A WISH FOR THE WORLD. Each wish will be inscribed upon an origami crane which in turn will be used to decorate the Christmas tree in our City Hall this December. There will an opening celebration at City Hall on December 5. When was the last time that you made a wish? Probably around the time that you saw Pinocchio and heard Jimminy Cricket sing ‘Wish Upon a Star’. This is your wish for our planet not for a new pair of Manolo Blahniks. Take a few moments. Take a deep breath and think about how you feel when you see the headlines in the morning papers. What upsets you the most? Stories about war? Global warming? Hunger? Now imagine that you could make a simple wish, along with thousands of other like-minded folks, and that it would make a difference. Who knows, this could be the beginning of your involvement in something bigger than yourself...

Check out RAINBOW WORLD FUND for more information. About the Rainbow World Fund:

"Founded in 2000, Rainbow World Fund (RWF) is a humanitarian service agancy based in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and friends community. RWF’s mission is to promote LGBT philanthropy in the area of world humanitarian relief. RWF works to help people who suffer from hunger, poverty, disease, oppression and war by raising awareness and funds to support relief efforts around the world. RWF provides a united voice, a large visible presence, and a structure to deliver LGBT charitable assistance to the larger world community."

Okay, you can get back to your grocery list now....

July 04, 2006

Happy (brrrrr) Fourth of July

A cold wind is whipping across Nob Hill. A couple are huddled together on the corner. She is trying to spread out a map and he is hunched over with his hands dug into his pockets trying to stay warm.

What does the 4th of July mean in San Francisco? It means that while the rest of the United States is sweltering we are adding more layers of clothing. While the rest of the United States is anticipating an evening of fireworks we are trying to figure out the best place to watch the clouds turn pink and green once the show starts.

I am not complaining. Just as Christmas for New Zealanders means heat, the 4th of July means cold to us. The Muse did venture out of the city one year. It was 1986 and I was in New York City for business and pleasure. It was the year that they celebrated the newly refurbished Statue of Liberty. I will probably never see another fireworks display like that again. Spectacular. My other vivid memory of that night is how it felt to be packed into the last bus heading uptown from the Village at midnight. It was still hot. And humid. I knew at that moment that I would always be a San Franciscan.

So what will the Muse do today?  Shop for ingredients to make the Barefoot Contessa's amazing Vegetable Coleslaw from the first book, page 107.  Then order in the Memphis Pork dinners from BIG NATE'S BARBEQUE.  After dinner we walk over to the corner of Sacramento and Mason to watch the fireworks.

Where is my red fleece jacket?

December 29, 2005

A DELICIOUS AND NOT SO BITTERSWEET HOLIDAY CHOCOLATE TASTING

On the heels of their phenomenal success in Oakland’s Rockridge district, the folks of Bittersweet, The Chocolate Cafe have opened a second location in San Francisco’s tony Pacific Heights. They have transformed the space formerly occupied by CAPER on Fillmore between California and Sacramento Streets into a chocolate lover’s paradise. In a hurry? Grab a bar of chocolate from the dozens on display from almost every chocolate producing region in the world. Ecuador, Venezuela, Trinidad, Hawaii . . . Or perhaps your chocolate fix needs to come in a cup. Our personal favorite is the Chocolate Thai Iced Tea.  Jasmine tea is infused with chocolate.  Flowers and chocolate? Always.

Sign up for their newsletter and you will receive announcements about tasting events like the one we attended last week. The theme was Holiday Flavors. Since the discovery of chocolate, people have experimented with adding flavors from their own culture or ‘terroir’. Chiles, citrus, nuts, milk and peppermint are the classic flavor additions. More recently lavender has been an addition. Bittersweet’s resident chocophile Seneca Klassen led us through a generous tasting that started with a Dagoba Xocolatl 74% with chiles, maca and cacao nibs. We ended our tasting over an hour later with a satisfying cup of Bittersweet Hot Chocolate with Peppermint Essential Oil. A visit to this chocolate lover’s oasis is one way to escape the frenzy of the holiday season. Bittersweet, The Chocolate Café, 2123 Fillmore Street, 415-346-8715.

December 19, 2005

HOLIDAY BITS

Ah, the things we San Franciscans do and the places we find ourselves at this time of year.  Take last Sunday for example.  Feeling parched, the Muse and friend decided to duck into the nearest cocktail lounge for a quick sip of champagne.  But we had criteria.  It could not be full of ultra chic Marin folks dressed all in black (Market Bar) and it had to have a city view.  ‘Rotating’ was not on the list but that is what we got when we decided on the Equinox at the top of the Hyatt Regency on the Embarcadero.  Here is what we received for the price of a glass of champagne: a fast ride in the glass elevator that soars up the inside of the lobby, a few pretzels and a great view of downtown.  This is not the picture postcard view a tourist might send home.  This is an urban lover’s view straight down the canyon of the Financial District.  The slow trip lasts about 45 minutes and includes a view of the Ferry Building and East Bay. 

If you don’t need a view and find yourself on the Embarcadero in the evening then try the Americano cocktail lounge in the new Hotel Vitale.  We highly recommend a glass of Prosecco (Italian bubbly) and the warmed olives.  Sunday evening cocktailing could become a habit.

HOLIDAY QUESTIONS??????

Where did the Christmas tree in the front of the former Bank of America building go?  When new owners take over a landmark building in San Francisco it would do much for goodwill if they attempted to carry on any holiday traditions that the previous owners had established.  Even Macy’s makes an effort to carry on I. Magnin’s tradition of a green wreath with red bow in every window of this beautiful Art Deco building.  Okay, so they are hideous neon wreaths but one can appreciate the sentiment and Macy’s respect for tradition.  The four story tall fake tree that Neiman Marcus puts up every year in their Rotunda may not be as fragrant as the real giant Spruce that the City of Paris erected but Neiman's knew we San Franciscans take our holiday traditions very seriously.  After all, we made them agree to save the flower stand on the Stockton Street side of the building before their final plans were approved.

THANK YOU, HUNTINGTON HOTEL

Guess who pays to decorate the trees with lights in Huntington Park on the top of Nob Hill?  The kind folks at the Huntington Hotel who also host a hot chocolate gathering on the evening that the lights are first lit.   

CATCH ONE IF YOU CAN….

The number 60 Cable Car on the California/Van Ness line is decked out for the holidays.  Holly, garlands, lights. The operators pay for the decorations themselves out of their own pockets.  They also host a holiday dinner for seniors every year.  Ah, the kindness and generosity of San Franciscans is alive and well. 

December 06, 2005

A COVEN OF SNOWPEOPLE AND OTHER HOLIDAY LOBBY DELIGHTS

San Francisco hotel owners really pull out all the stops during the holidays by decking their lobbies from floor to ceiling with all forms of holiday decoration.  Lights, holly, wreaths, snowmen, Santa and reindeer all get dragged out of storage, dusted off and hung.  While this may be done in an effort to help the weary holiday traveler feel more at home it is also done for folks from the suburbs that get into the City only once a year.  After visiting the tree at Neiman Marcus this gay group (old meaning of the word), decked out in sweaters embroidered with trees and wreaths, hops on a cable car and rides up to the top of Nob Hill where they visit the Gingerbread House at the Fairmont, have a drink at the Top of the Mark or share a puu-puu platter at the Tonga Room.

Office lobbies also get decorated with most buildings using the same decorations year after year.  Note 101 California Street with land-of-the-giants red Christmas tree ornaments arranged around their plaza and hanging in their atrium.  However we are delighted to report a new installation in the lobby of a building in the 400 block of California Street (south side).  The outside pillars wrapped in red lights look harmless enough. Get a little closer if you dare and you will sense that all is not right in this winter wonderland.  What do you call more than one snow person?  A pack?  A mob?  No, folks, more than one snow person in one place at a time could only be a coven.  And that is what we have here. They glow. They smile. They beckon. Resist the urge to join them.  Flee.  Flee.

November 27, 2005

Sunday finally arrives

You thought Sunday would never arrive.  It had seemed like such a good idea – the right thing to do- last September when you invited them to join you for Thanksgiving in San Francisco.  Wednesday went well.  It was warm and dry and you all went out for Chinese food on Clement Street.  Thursday was lovely.  Full of thanks, turkey and champagne cocktails.  And then, as you went to bed on Thursday night you realized that they were not leaving until Sunday.  And it was going to rain on Friday.  Now what?  Rising to the occasion, as the gracious host that you are, you took them to Union Square for shopping and the Christmas tree lighting that evening.  Saturday you treated them to a morning walk at Crissy Field (surely this would tire them out) and then lunch at the Ferry Building.  Boy, those cocktails at Slanted Door are the best, aren’t they?  This is fun, isn’t it?  Who says the holidays are stressful?  Then you realized that you were actually yelling at the clerk at Sur La Table because he didn’t know what size baking sheet you had at home.  Ooooops.  With the last ounce of dignity and good sense left in your body you hailed a taxi, sent your relatives to the Metreon to see a movie and you went home alone.

Now it is Sunday morning.  They are packing.  And you are giving thanks.  Thanks that you live here and not there.  Thanks that you have the good fortune to live in San Francisco and the common sense not to do this again.  And when they hug you good-bye on the sidewalk this morning and tell you that this is the best Thanksgiving they have ever had, believe them. And try to keep that smirk and look of relief off your face as the taxi pulls away from the curb.